JANUARY
12, 2014
I want to share some tender mercies that I have felt since we began 2014.
1. The desire to put together a family history has hit me strongly. I felt a true inspirational moment when I thought to have our family children help me with memories of their childhood in our family. I hope they will do that so that I can compile something that will bless your lives. I have already received great lists from Laura, Jay and Amy that have made me laugh and brought me some great insights. I also started a personal history that I want to share with my Grandchildren especially because I don't want them to wonder about me as I now wonder about the lives of my parents and grandparents as well.
2. This last week marked the year point in our temple service. Your dad has mentioned that serving in the temple helps him want to be a better person. I agree with that sentiment. I am grateful for the example of other ordinance workers, the amazing spirit I feel as I work in the temple, the gift of understanding that comes by serving in the temple and the greater desire that I am gaining to live worthy of all my many blessings and especially to keep the covenants I have made so that I can be with my family forever.
3. Dad took a man through the temple last week who when seeing his name, asked him if he was related to Al Fontano. "yes, he was my dad" your dad replied. After the veil the man met dad at the stairs and said that Al was his bishop... upon discovering his name we know that Al was more than his bishop. Steve Atwood served as one of his couselors in the Castro Valley 2nd Ward and he also spoke at his funeral. Your Grandpa loved Steve dearly. Steve and his wife now live here in the St. George area. I hope that we will meet up with them again.
4. Today in Sacrament meeting we had a speaker who had just recently returned from Sao Paulo Brazil where he served at the executive secretary to the Brazil Area Presidency. He is an older fellow (about our age) and he expressed some meaningful things he had learned about the Atonement in serving under these men. One thing he mentioned was that when asked how to take the spirit of their mission home with them, the area President replied that they should read the Book of Mormon for at least 30 minutes every day and then take them time to ponder and write their thoughts about what they had read. After doing that for 30 days they should then do it for another 30 days thus continuing the practice. I have made a commitment that if I want to go on a mission, I need to make that same effort as they are making to keep the spirit in their lives like they had on their mission.
5. During this week I read an October 2005 conference talk by Elder Bednar where he talked in Priesthood meeting and addressed thoughts of Becoming a Missionary. He said that we should not think of it as going on a mission but rather becoming a missionary. When you are becoming a missionary you are accepting all the obligations and responsibilities it takes to be a missionary... and you should plan to do that as you prepare - not just when you get there. I also learned from him to study the Preach My Gospel manual in preparing and so Dad and I, in our effort to become missionaries intend to study from the Preach My Gospel lessons every week for FHE...
I want to share some tender mercies that I have felt since we began 2014.
1. The desire to put together a family history has hit me strongly. I felt a true inspirational moment when I thought to have our family children help me with memories of their childhood in our family. I hope they will do that so that I can compile something that will bless your lives. I have already received great lists from Laura, Jay and Amy that have made me laugh and brought me some great insights. I also started a personal history that I want to share with my Grandchildren especially because I don't want them to wonder about me as I now wonder about the lives of my parents and grandparents as well.
2. This last week marked the year point in our temple service. Your dad has mentioned that serving in the temple helps him want to be a better person. I agree with that sentiment. I am grateful for the example of other ordinance workers, the amazing spirit I feel as I work in the temple, the gift of understanding that comes by serving in the temple and the greater desire that I am gaining to live worthy of all my many blessings and especially to keep the covenants I have made so that I can be with my family forever.
3. Dad took a man through the temple last week who when seeing his name, asked him if he was related to Al Fontano. "yes, he was my dad" your dad replied. After the veil the man met dad at the stairs and said that Al was his bishop... upon discovering his name we know that Al was more than his bishop. Steve Atwood served as one of his couselors in the Castro Valley 2nd Ward and he also spoke at his funeral. Your Grandpa loved Steve dearly. Steve and his wife now live here in the St. George area. I hope that we will meet up with them again.
4. Today in Sacrament meeting we had a speaker who had just recently returned from Sao Paulo Brazil where he served at the executive secretary to the Brazil Area Presidency. He is an older fellow (about our age) and he expressed some meaningful things he had learned about the Atonement in serving under these men. One thing he mentioned was that when asked how to take the spirit of their mission home with them, the area President replied that they should read the Book of Mormon for at least 30 minutes every day and then take them time to ponder and write their thoughts about what they had read. After doing that for 30 days they should then do it for another 30 days thus continuing the practice. I have made a commitment that if I want to go on a mission, I need to make that same effort as they are making to keep the spirit in their lives like they had on their mission.
5. During this week I read an October 2005 conference talk by Elder Bednar where he talked in Priesthood meeting and addressed thoughts of Becoming a Missionary. He said that we should not think of it as going on a mission but rather becoming a missionary. When you are becoming a missionary you are accepting all the obligations and responsibilities it takes to be a missionary... and you should plan to do that as you prepare - not just when you get there. I also learned from him to study the Preach My Gospel manual in preparing and so Dad and I, in our effort to become missionaries intend to study from the Preach My Gospel lessons every week for FHE...
JANUARY
29, 2014
Natalie
gave a talk on Tithing that she shared with me. It was excellent and I wanted to keep it to remind me of her
teachings:
Natalie FontanoTalk on Tithing Cedar City 8th WardSunday
January 19, 2014I.
Open The other night we were at the Brick House setting up
for a business meeting the next morning
and my dad got a phone call.
As soon as I heard him say “Hello Brother Lambeth” I knew what was
happening and tried to make my escape.
Obviously, I was not fast enough because my dad managed to hand me the
phone and sure enough, Brother Lambeth asked me to speak today.
Introduce Tithing – Windows of Heaven A. In Malachi chapter
3 verse 10 we read 10 Bring ye all
the atithes into the storehouse, that there may be bmeatin mine house, and
cprove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if Iwill not dopen you the
ewindows of heaven, and pour you out a fblessing, that there shall not be room
enough to receive it.B. In October
Conference Elder Bednar spoke about The Windows of Heaven. He said:The imagery of the “windows” of
heaven used by Malachi is most instructive. Windows allow natural light to
enter into a building. In like manner, spiritual illumination and perspective
are poured out through the windows of heaven and into our lives as we honor the
law of tithing.For example, a subtle but significant blessing we receive is the
spiritualgift of gratitude that enables our appreciation for what we have to
constrain desires for what we want. A grateful person is rich in contentment.
An ungrateful person suffers in the poverty of endless discontentment (see Luke
12:15).
Personal Story - Christmas Gifts.I would like to share an
experience we had in our family this Christmas. One night our dad sat us down at the table and told us that
we were not going to be getting gifts this year because we didn’t have the
money for them. He then talked to
us about giving ourselves the gift of giving. Our friends from Florida are serving as Mission President in
the Arizona Scottsdale Mission.
They love Brick House Fudge and giving away fudge at Christmas time is a
Fontano tradition. Dad was
thinking earlier in the day about what we could give for Christmas and thought
about President and Sister Sweeney and all of their missionaries. He thought about the fudge and how much
they like it. Then he thought that
it would take a lot of fudge and the story of the 5 loaves and 2 fishes popped
into his head. So he told us about
it and asked if we would like to send this gift to the missionaries for
Christmas this year and that this would be our gift to each other as well. We all said yes and we were
excited. No one was worried about
not getting anything else for Christmas.
And so we made 5 loaves of fudge that we sent to Arizona. The missionaries loved it.
A couple of other things happened this Christmas. Someone decided to do the 12 Days of
Christmas for our Family. We
enjoyed the nightly surprises and looked forward to every gift. Then, the morning came for us to fly to
Alaska to spend Christmas with our mom.
Dad had to go and take care of some things at work before we left for
the airport. It took him a long
time to get home and when he got home he said he had bumped into somebody with
the car and wanted us to come and see the car. We thought he was in a car accident so we all went out to
the car where he lined us up behind it.
He said he had bumped into Santa and he opened the tailgate of the
car. There were presents for us in
the back. Dad told us what he
meant by bumping into Santa. A
Secret Santa had put an envelope in the car with some money and a note that
said to get some gifts for the family for Christmas. We had decided that our
gift for Christmas was the gift of giving the fudge to the missionaries in Arizona. Then miracles occurred and we were
blessed with additional gifts. I
believe they came because dad pays his tithing and helps us to pay our tithing
also.
This week the missionaries sent us a special thank you and
President Sweeney shared this verse in Doctrine and Covenants 84:90 “And he who
feeds you… shall in no wise lose his reward.”
The blessings of tithing are often subtle. A. Elder Bednar says “some of the diverse blessings we obtain
as we are obedient to this commandment are significant but subtle.” B. He shared this story about his
mother in law. Sister Bednar’s
mother is a faithful woman and an inspired homemaker. From the earliest days of
her marriage, she carefully has kept the household financial records. For
decades she has accounted carefully for the family income and expenditures
using very simple ledgers. The information she has collected over the years is
comprehensive and informative. When Sister Bednar was a young woman, her mother
used the data in the ledgers to emphasize basic principles of provident living
and prudent home management. One day as they reviewed together various
categories of expenses, her mother noted an interesting pattern. The costs for
doctor visits and medicines for their family were far lower than might have
been expected. She then related this finding to the gospel of Jesus Christ and
explained to her daughter a powerful truth: as we live the law of tithing, we
often receive significant but subtle blessings that are not always what we
expect and easily can be overlooked. The family had not received any sudden or
obvious additions to the household income. Instead, a loving Heavenly Father
had bestowed simple blessings in seemingly ordinary ways. Sister Bednar always
has remembered this important lesson from her mother about the help that comes
to us through the windows of heaven, as promised by Malachi in the Old
Testament (see Malachi 3:10).
C. Elder Bednar also shared subtle
blessings received by The Stripling Warriors: The stripling warriors in the
Book of Mormon (see Alma 53; 56–58) prayed earnestly that God would strengthen
and deliver them out of the hands of their enemies. Interestingly, the answers
to these prayers did not produce additional weapons or an increased number of
troops. Instead, God granted these faithful warriors assurance that He would
deliver them, peace to their souls, and great faith and hope for their
deliverance in Him (see Alma 58:11). Thus, the sons of Helaman did take
courage, were fixed with a determination to conquer, and did go forth with all
of their might against the Lamanites (see Alma 58:12–13).Assurance, peace,
faith, and hope initially might not seem like the blessings warriors in battle
might want, but they were precisely the blessings these valiant young men
needed to press forward and prevailphysically and spiritually.
D. Elder Bednar explains how subtle
blessings come: Sometimes we may
ask God for success, and He gives us physical and mental stamina. We might
plead for prosperity, and we receive enlarged perspective and increased
patience We might plead for prosperity, and we
receive enlarged perspective and increased patience, or we petition for growth
and are blessed with the gift of grace. He may bestow upon us conviction and
confidence as we strive to achieve
worthy goals. And when we plead for relief from physical, mental, and spiritual
difficulties, He may increase our resolve and resilience.
V. Closing:In closing I want to share this promise from
Eldar Bednar “ that as you andI observe and keep the law of tithing, indeed the
windows of heaven will be opened and spiritual and temporal blessings will be
poured out such that there shall not be room enough to receive them (see
Malachi 3:10)
March
2, 2014 – This last week we took a trip to California and in mid February I
went to stay with Pete and Tara’s kids in Houston.
The
Houston trip was great. I enjoyed
the kids so much and think that sometimes being alone with them helps to build
relationships that otherwise wouldn’t happen. Even Ben started to like me a little bit before the week was
over.
The
trip to California was a tender mercy for sure when we went to the Los Angeles
Temple. Reflecting on our
experience:
The
temple here is huge. It is a
predominate building on Santa Monica Avenue. It is many stories high. It is unusual because like the Salt Lake Temple you change
rooms but you have the video in each room. The rooms are painted in vibrant colors and are very interesting. I enjoyed the experience so much and I
felt the spirit so strongly.
The
next morning we attended Sacrament Meeting in a chapel on the temple grounds
which also houses the Visitors Center, Patron housing and the Mission
Home. Because of these buildings
the ward was composed of many missionaries either serving in the temple or in
the mission home or just living on the grounds. The speakers were amazing. Returning home from their missions in the temple they
offered great counsel on missionary and temple work.
Driving
on the LA freeways is so scary. We
had a car turn out just shortly in front of us with a blown tire and cross 5
lanes of traffic without hitting a single car… that was amazing in itself.
We
went on a cruise to Catalina and Ensenada. One we have taken many times before. It was fun but this time I was
particularly aware of the things going on a round me and did not necessarily
approve of attire or tattoos or piercings that seemed so prevelant compared
to what I see in Utah. I also realized that there were a lot
of unmarried people on the boat
cruising together. The world
is increasing in wickedness and so many of these people don’t even realize
it.
I
did have one experience that was certainly for good. A young girl was sitting on the wall in Catalina looking out
at the sea. She was seated next to
a lady and struck up a conversation with her. The young girl shared insights into the gospel with this
lady. She had been on a mission to
Peru and the lady asked her several questions about it. She honestly shared her purpose as a
missionary and her testimony and it was awesome.
While
in Disneyland (California) I was reminded of the slogan that Disneyland is the
Happiest Place on Earth. I
reflected that although it is a fun place, as far as happiness goes it can’t
hold a candle to the happiness I felt in the LA temple earlier in the week.
APRIL 6, 2014
I have written about
many tender mercies over the last few years but this weekend brought an
ultimate Tender Mercy. It was a
gift that I would identify as a blessing which testifies to me that somehow Jim
and I have been successful in raising a righteous and amazing family.
We received a card
which included a message from each of our children encouraging us to prepare
for a mission and commitment from them to assist us in reaching our goal. They have set up a trust to which they
will each contribute over the next while.
This trust will be available to us to help us in financing a mission and then go on to help our
grandchildren when it is time for them to go on missions!
What
a great gift this is! But I must say that important to me as the physical
gift, is the sacred witness of commitment to the Lord and the testimony of each
individual child. And although I
say child (my birth child) I know that each spouse has also participated in
this wonderful gift.
We are so blessed! I think I am at the stage of life when I have forgotten some of the trials and challenges of raising our children. I fondly remember great experiences and proud moments. I treasure the memory of each trip to the temple both for endowments and sealings. I have loved the blessing of sending six boys on missions and having six righteous men with faith in the Gospel of Jesus Christ return home. I am so glad that my daughters have selected husbands who are strong in the gospel and who also served righteously.
The Fontanos have
grown and continue to grow as an eternal family. We have the most amazing grand-children being raised by
wonderful parents. We love them
with all of our hearts and are so proud of them. We hope as we serve a mission we can set an example of
service and testimony that will prompt them to follow their parents and their
grandparents in dedicating time to the Lord as missionaries.
May 10, 2014 – Mike Graduates!
Dear Mike and Liana:
We are so proud of both of you and your accomplishments over
the last years. We know it hasn’t
been easy for you to work and to attend classes and to serve in callings in the
church. You have done a great job! You are both amazing!
We hope this money can be used for you to do a little
celebrating. In the past, we have
purchased a suit for each of our boys who have graduated from college. If this works for you… great, use the
money to get something you like. If
you would rather spend it on something you need or want – then do that! It is just a small token to say – good
job!
We just want you to know that we are so happy for you. We hope you can now move ahead with
your lives and enjoy the times ahead in your future!
You are both so amazing. We think you make a great team and you are such a great
blessing to us.
We wish you the best in everything you choose to do. We also thank you for being so good to
us and for always remembering us.
It is always great to have you visit and we appreciate the times you
have come and been with us for special occasions and also for just coming to
“hang out.”
Again, congratulations and may the future bring you great
reward for all of your hard work!
Love always and forever,
Trip to Laramie:
Well the tender mercy associated with our trip to Laramie
for Mike’s graduation was that we got to spend an extra day with them because
the weather was so bad that they closed all roads leading out of Laramie and we
were STUCK. We had a great time
playing games on Saturday after the graduation with Liana’s family – the Name
Game (my favorite ever game) and then on Sunday we went to church and being
that it was Mother’s Day we were able to hear Liana’s awesome talk. We then went home and hung out with
Liana and Mike and ate left overs from the night before where we had Mexican
Food. Liana and her mom made us a
fun dinner as well. Never had
chicken noodle soup over mashed potatoes but it was great! They were so generous – feeding us,
letting us wash clothes, and then setting up a place to stay as well.
We got on the road Monday about 2 pm and went down through
Denver which was a beautiful drive.
It took us a few more hours but we enjoyed the drive over 70 even if it
was LONG!
So the tender mercy?
Spending time with our family including Mike and Liana, Laura her
family, and Amy as well. What more
could we ask? They are our dearest
treasures…
May 18, 2014
Today we went to hear John speak in his ward. He is such an amazing speaker. I sometimes forget about this talent he
has. His message was on the
priesthood and he shared some sweet anecdotes and stories about how he keeps
the spirit alive in his home and the things he has learned from living the
gospel and using the priesthood.
He is amazing. After his
talk, as we were leaving, I heard one brother tell him that someday he
would be the bishop for sure (I
guess he has to get a wife first) but he certainly is a spiritual giant and
would be an amazing bishop whenever that calling comes to him.
John mentioned in his talk that he remembered FHE lessons
about the Stripling Warriors and
burying weapons of war (and sins) that we had when he was growing up. I thought about how we raised 6
stripling warriors who were every bit as valiant and remain as true and valiant
today in their families and in living the gospel. We have been so blessed to have such wonderful children (and
I include also that our two daughters are also female stripling warriors and
live as examples to me of their testimonies as well.
May 20, 2014 – just a copy of the birthday note sent to one
of our most wonderful granddaughters:
She is truly a tender mercy in our lives.
Dear Marien:
HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, TO YOU, TO YOU!!!!!
We hope you have a wonderful day and enjoy every minute of it! You deserve it!
You are such a sweet girl and you are such a loving and giving
person. We are so proud to be your
grandparents!
You make us happy to see what wonderful choices you have made in your
life. You are a great example to
all of your younger siblings and cousins.
You work so hard and perform so well. You are absolutely beautiful inside and out!
We challenge you to continue growing in your testimony and in your
obedience to your Heavenly Father.
We promise that you will never regret the path you have chosen and the
great things you are doing with your life!
Have a very happy and wonderful 17th year!
Love always, Grandma and
Grandpa
June 13, 2014 – Axioms
Laura and Nigel gave me a book for Christmas that was written by one of their bishops at the U. It is a fictional story written to teach principles of faith. There are four axioms or truths that are identified in the book that form a foundation. If these axioms are applied in one’s life and character then they will lead to happiness. According to the writer they are the basis for happiness and they do work. As we have a testimony of these truths and then live with conviction and belief in them, our lives are fulfilling and we are good Christ-like people.
Laura and Nigel gave me a book for Christmas that was written by one of their bishops at the U. It is a fictional story written to teach principles of faith. There are four axioms or truths that are identified in the book that form a foundation. If these axioms are applied in one’s life and character then they will lead to happiness. According to the writer they are the basis for happiness and they do work. As we have a testimony of these truths and then live with conviction and belief in them, our lives are fulfilling and we are good Christ-like people.
The axioms are compassion, humility, gratitude and
conscience. They go a little
deeper than the usual definition in each case:
Compassion – feeling empathy but with action. Take steps to help alleviate suffering
or sorrow or whatever in someone else’s life. Put them before your self.
Humility – be humble and meek like the Savior but do not
have a low opinion of yourself.
Recognize that you are a child of God and have all the blessings that
come with that gift. Then use your
God-given talents to do your best.
Be teachable. Be kind and
not proud.
Gratitude – always remember to look at both sides of any
situation. What can I learn from
this experience? How can
grow? What is the Lord trying to
teach me? Be thankful for those
things you have and remember them in all you do and think.
Conscience – choosing between right and wrong. Analyze and make decisions based on
what the Lord would have you do.
Remaining worthy for the promptings of the Holy Ghost. Trusting in the Lord to help you even
when the right choice may be difficult to make and carry out.
There are many more lessons in this book. I think I will read it again and look
for the lessons that I might have missed before. I do know that already I can see how being aware of how I
use these foundational axioms can help me. I also see that I can step outside my comfort zone and reach
out to others. I can do things
that will be of service but also help me to grow spiritually.
In the back of the book is a list of practices to help with
incorporating the axioms in your life.
There are many good suggestions that I plan to copy and work on.
The book is titled “Snow Rising” by Matt Baldwin. I appreciate this gift – a tender mercy
to help me grow in my life and be better!
So I was
just thinking that on October 19, 1964 my mother past away. That is 50
years ago... I can hardly believe it. As I was thinking about this it
occurred to me that I would just like to say a few words about her.
A couple of fond memories:
* I remember her ironing in the dining room of our house in Berkeley. She had gotten a phonograph for Christmas and would play records while she ironed (it seemed like every day).
* She would start cooking early in the morning sometimes and make spaghetti sauce or other amazing dishes that would simmer on the stove forever. Lots of Sundays we had people over for dinner and it was great to enjoy family. She never complained about cooking for a crowd or the clean-up. In fact the clean-up was always so fun because all of my Aunt's would gather in the kitchen to clean dishes (we did not have a dishwasher) and gab and laugh.
* She loved to work in the garden and wherever we lived, she always had a spot that she was cultivating.
* She was always laughing and smiling. She did not like to smile big because she had crooked teeth but she still would grin and have a twinkle in her eyes.
* She kept a very comfortable house. She taught me to CLEAN! I remember once we took a trip to northern California and stayed in a hotel there that had brown walls. Not so unusual today but in those days it was very different. She came home and had my dad paint the living room and dining room in that same brown she liked it so much.
* Most of our furniture was hand-me-downs but the when I was about 11 or so Mom went to Macy's in San Francisco and picked out a new couch. She liked early American style and this was a gold couch. Suddenly she was very worried about men coming over and resting their heads on the back of the couch since men in those days wore a lot of oily stuff in their hair. It didn't end up being a problem that I remember but she was very concerned.
* My mother did not drive when I was a child so we walked everywhere. They built a new Safeway store about 4 blocks from our house and she would go and get groceries and then push a cart home with all the groceries. Kelly and I would have to push the cart back to the store.
* Mom liked to bake as well as cook. I still remember one day coming home from school and finding a whole counter full of the most delicious cinnamon rolls (with raisins!). She frequently baked bread and rolls as well. She made all of the food including amazing cream puffs for my cousin Lynn's wedding. She made the best pies ever - my favorites included Chocolate Cream pie (of course all had homemade pie crust), banana cream, lemon mirangue, and the best I have ever had to this day apple pie.
* In thinking about this good food I do also know that she was a pain in my side when it came to being hungry and dinner was still a while away. She would always say "Just have some raw carrots..." YUK.
* Mom was a crafter... she was the homemaking leader for several years in the Berkeley 2nd Ward Relief Society. She made some interesting things like candle holders that were made from tuna cans decorated with types of macaroni and spray painted. She loved to gather driftwood and would hang little decorations from them for Christmas or other holidays. She knitted (socks for my dad) and crocheted. She sewed many dresses and skirts and other outfits for Kelly and me and made dresses for herself as well.
* Being that she didn't drive, my mom was a bus-rider as well as a walker. She rode the bus to Oakland, Berkeley, Albany, El Cerrito, San Francisco or just up and down Solano Avenue where we lived. Usually however she would walk the several miles along that avenue to the library, Foster Freeze, the grocery stores or where ever she needed to go.
* Kelly and I were usually trapped into walking many a mile with her as well. I am mostly thinking right now of when we lived on Solano Avenue and we'd walk to the Albany pool for swimming lessons or to the tennis courts to play tennis. Up the hill from us was Indian Rock and we would walk straight up for many blocks to get to the rock and climb for awhile. She loved that!
* My brother Steve and his wife Lucy came to live next door to us on Solano. They had two little girls who were just younger than me and Kelly. Mom would baby sit them during the days when Lucy worked. My mom adored those girls. They had a baby sister Joanie who was born just before Mom died... actually I think Joan turned 50 on October 3rd.
* Mom loved the church during the last years of her life. I am not sure why she wasn't active for most of her life but when Kelly and I were old enough she started taking us to church. She taught the Sunbeams in Primary and loved them so much. She got her calling as Homemaking leader but asked if they would let her keep her calling in Primary too.
* She was also a Singing Mother and she loved doing that as well. She always said she didn't have a very good voice but I always thought it was lovely. The Singing Mothers sang at her funeral and that was special to me. She and my dad would sing in the car. Sometimes they would sing along with the radio but lots of times they would just go through a rendition of songs. It was awesome! She would get a little tiffed at my Dad when he would start singing "Dapper Dan was a Pullman Porter Man on the Train that Ran Through Dixie". (evidently Dapper Dan had a girl in every town and my Mom didn't think that was particularly appropriate for young girls ears).
* Another thing I remember is that my mom was always volunteering. She was my Brownie leader and my Girl Scout leader. She was involved in our after-school activities and programs. She was a room-mother many times. She was always there when I performed or participated. She helped me memorize all of my Primary Scriptures and the Articles of Faith.
* My mom loved her family and my dad's family. Something I remember about her was that she was very good about never gossiping about any of them. I know she had feelings about a few but she was a loyal and loving sister-in-law, sister, mother, daughter, etc.
* Mom also had great friends. When we lived in Berkeley the first time she had a friend who was Jane's mom and she would go visit her. I think Jane's mom got her to go to Relief Society too.She also had a friend named Marne who was my friend Terri's mom. In Orinda she got together for coffee with a lot of ladies in the neighborhood and again was good friends with my friend Laurie's mom. She especially had great friends in Berkeley 2nd ward. They were all women who were married to non members and they had monthly get-to-gethers. They were very very good to her when she got sick and many of them would take her all the way to her doctor appointments in San Francisco.
* I remember her ironing in the dining room of our house in Berkeley. She had gotten a phonograph for Christmas and would play records while she ironed (it seemed like every day).
* She would start cooking early in the morning sometimes and make spaghetti sauce or other amazing dishes that would simmer on the stove forever. Lots of Sundays we had people over for dinner and it was great to enjoy family. She never complained about cooking for a crowd or the clean-up. In fact the clean-up was always so fun because all of my Aunt's would gather in the kitchen to clean dishes (we did not have a dishwasher) and gab and laugh.
* She loved to work in the garden and wherever we lived, she always had a spot that she was cultivating.
* She was always laughing and smiling. She did not like to smile big because she had crooked teeth but she still would grin and have a twinkle in her eyes.
* She kept a very comfortable house. She taught me to CLEAN! I remember once we took a trip to northern California and stayed in a hotel there that had brown walls. Not so unusual today but in those days it was very different. She came home and had my dad paint the living room and dining room in that same brown she liked it so much.
* Most of our furniture was hand-me-downs but the when I was about 11 or so Mom went to Macy's in San Francisco and picked out a new couch. She liked early American style and this was a gold couch. Suddenly she was very worried about men coming over and resting their heads on the back of the couch since men in those days wore a lot of oily stuff in their hair. It didn't end up being a problem that I remember but she was very concerned.
* My mother did not drive when I was a child so we walked everywhere. They built a new Safeway store about 4 blocks from our house and she would go and get groceries and then push a cart home with all the groceries. Kelly and I would have to push the cart back to the store.
* Mom liked to bake as well as cook. I still remember one day coming home from school and finding a whole counter full of the most delicious cinnamon rolls (with raisins!). She frequently baked bread and rolls as well. She made all of the food including amazing cream puffs for my cousin Lynn's wedding. She made the best pies ever - my favorites included Chocolate Cream pie (of course all had homemade pie crust), banana cream, lemon mirangue, and the best I have ever had to this day apple pie.
* In thinking about this good food I do also know that she was a pain in my side when it came to being hungry and dinner was still a while away. She would always say "Just have some raw carrots..." YUK.
* Mom was a crafter... she was the homemaking leader for several years in the Berkeley 2nd Ward Relief Society. She made some interesting things like candle holders that were made from tuna cans decorated with types of macaroni and spray painted. She loved to gather driftwood and would hang little decorations from them for Christmas or other holidays. She knitted (socks for my dad) and crocheted. She sewed many dresses and skirts and other outfits for Kelly and me and made dresses for herself as well.
* Being that she didn't drive, my mom was a bus-rider as well as a walker. She rode the bus to Oakland, Berkeley, Albany, El Cerrito, San Francisco or just up and down Solano Avenue where we lived. Usually however she would walk the several miles along that avenue to the library, Foster Freeze, the grocery stores or where ever she needed to go.
* Kelly and I were usually trapped into walking many a mile with her as well. I am mostly thinking right now of when we lived on Solano Avenue and we'd walk to the Albany pool for swimming lessons or to the tennis courts to play tennis. Up the hill from us was Indian Rock and we would walk straight up for many blocks to get to the rock and climb for awhile. She loved that!
* My brother Steve and his wife Lucy came to live next door to us on Solano. They had two little girls who were just younger than me and Kelly. Mom would baby sit them during the days when Lucy worked. My mom adored those girls. They had a baby sister Joanie who was born just before Mom died... actually I think Joan turned 50 on October 3rd.
* Mom loved the church during the last years of her life. I am not sure why she wasn't active for most of her life but when Kelly and I were old enough she started taking us to church. She taught the Sunbeams in Primary and loved them so much. She got her calling as Homemaking leader but asked if they would let her keep her calling in Primary too.
* She was also a Singing Mother and she loved doing that as well. She always said she didn't have a very good voice but I always thought it was lovely. The Singing Mothers sang at her funeral and that was special to me. She and my dad would sing in the car. Sometimes they would sing along with the radio but lots of times they would just go through a rendition of songs. It was awesome! She would get a little tiffed at my Dad when he would start singing "Dapper Dan was a Pullman Porter Man on the Train that Ran Through Dixie". (evidently Dapper Dan had a girl in every town and my Mom didn't think that was particularly appropriate for young girls ears).
* Another thing I remember is that my mom was always volunteering. She was my Brownie leader and my Girl Scout leader. She was involved in our after-school activities and programs. She was a room-mother many times. She was always there when I performed or participated. She helped me memorize all of my Primary Scriptures and the Articles of Faith.
* My mom loved her family and my dad's family. Something I remember about her was that she was very good about never gossiping about any of them. I know she had feelings about a few but she was a loyal and loving sister-in-law, sister, mother, daughter, etc.
* Mom also had great friends. When we lived in Berkeley the first time she had a friend who was Jane's mom and she would go visit her. I think Jane's mom got her to go to Relief Society too.She also had a friend named Marne who was my friend Terri's mom. In Orinda she got together for coffee with a lot of ladies in the neighborhood and again was good friends with my friend Laurie's mom. She especially had great friends in Berkeley 2nd ward. They were all women who were married to non members and they had monthly get-to-gethers. They were very very good to her when she got sick and many of them would take her all the way to her doctor appointments in San Francisco.
I wish you could have all known her. She was a delightful
person, an amazing cook, a kind friend, a giving and loving mother and
grandmother. I don't know her any other way. I know I was young
when she died and perhaps that was a blessing because I don't have any thoughts
other than positive ones about her. Perhaps she had done things in her
younger life that were not right... I don't know and I don't really care.
I just honor her and love her for the amazing woman I remember. She would
have treasured each of you as her grand-children and her
great-grandchildren.
So perhaps 50 years have passed since she lived. She still
brings such joy to my heart when I think of her and I think a day does not go
by that I don't think of her in some way. I am so blessed to have had her
in my life. I hope that in some way I might emulate her and be able to be
as good and loving as she was.
October 23, 2014
Dear Eloise
Dear Eloise
Thanks for the note. I am finally home again and checking my
messages. Actually Jim will be home TOMORROW! We are both so
excited - this has been quite an adventure and now we will take the next
step. He had cervical (neck) surgery on Sept 19th and spent a week at the
hospital. Then he was transferred to the Acute Rehab at the hospital by
the temple and has been there doing physical and occupational therapy. It
has been a long and hard time for him there but he is doing very well.
The nursing and physical therapy staffs have been amazing. He has made
some great progress although he is far from walking. He is however able
to stand again with support and they say his legs are very strong. He has
a neck brace for the next two months and so I don't know how much we will be
going out. Otherwise his attitude is good and he is getting better every
day. Today we got in and out of the car about 5 times so that he will be
ready for tomorrow.
Thanks for thinking about us. I have been to the temple
several times while I have been down in St. George with Jim but unfortunately
never on a Saturday night (although last Saturday day). I do miss you all
and hope to be able to see you some day soon. Please pass on our love to
our friends there at the temple... we miss you all so much.
Love, Kathy
PS: thanks for coming into the restaurant - I hope they
treated you well! Perhaps we can meet up there some day - let me know if
you are ever planning to stop and we'll try to be there during that time!
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